So Smart It's Dumb

Highbrow humor. Low self-esteem. “Smart” comedy doesn’t mean fancy words or big, philosophical points. It simply means I have, against all odds, read a book.

Fun Facts! Facts that are Fun!

You know when you can’t sleep at night and even three or four slices of ham can’t stop your mind from spiraling into a vortex of dread and self-doubt? Read this section when you hit that low.

Former Bookseller

Ask me about my favorite book if you want to hear me talk for an hour and a half straight.

Classics Degree

Worthless, utterly worthless.


I don't believe in that shit, but I've been told that my sign means that I will not believe in that shit.

Owns a Pug

His name is Ignatius J. Reilly and he makes up half my Instagram, obviously.


This is still listed on my résumé under "special skills."

Beat Mega Man X

At age 30. Take that, Dad!

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