Hi. I’m Dan.

I write “smart” comedy. It’s not boring or over anyone’s head. “Smart” comedy doesn’t mean fancy words or big, philosophical points. It just means that unlike other comics my age, I don’t constantly talk about porn. That’s really it. I talk about subjects like: trying to be a good boyfriend, BBC’s Life, bookstores, video games, Netflix, my body image, my family, and, of course, porn. Even smart people still like porn.

I’ve been doing stand-up for over ten years. In that time I’ve also written for College Humor, McSweeney’s, The Onion News Network on IFC, Someecards (where I was the Ecards Editor for over a year), TL;DR WikipediaReader’s Digest, and a couple web series you’ve never heard of that paid me with checks that said, verbatim: “Cheese Jokes.” I also was an “Adjunct Scholar” for Lapham’s Quarterly, created the Better Book Titles blog and wrote my own humor book for Penguin in 2012 called How Not to Read: Harnessing the Power of a Literature-Free Life. You can read some of my writing right here.

My stand-up has been featured in the Boston Comedy Festival, the Cleveland Comedy Festival, Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, Cape Fear Comedy Festival, and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival. I’ve also been an actor in sketches for College Humor, IFC, Funny or DieMTV.com, and Distractify (one of which ended up on the Today show).

I have a BA in Classics and Creative Writing from Bard College that I’ve successfully squandered for a career in comedy. Don’t get me wrong: I’d love to put my degree to good use, but I can’t find a job where someone will pay me to smoke pot and just think about the Odyssey all day. Comedy is the next best thing. All in all, I sound pretty smart on paper, but anyone who knows me would probably describe me as a very “sweet” person (i.e. “Midwestern” (i.e. “kinda dumb but nice”))

Anyway, I’ve gone on about me long enough. Here’s my favorite thing I’ve ever done.

Thank you for reading. Follow your dreams (unless you’re like, super tired or a work thing just came up).